silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Comfort zones Since it is well known that I attract the weirdest, most wrong men possible, it comes as no surprise that one I had assumed was interested in me, back when I was in D school, confessed his interest. The annoying thing? He was my instructor. A good...25-30 years my superior. I haven't asked him his age, because it's not the proper thing to do, but he sure as hell knows I'm nowhere near it. This will be brief, because I am fairly tired. He messages me on fb about a week ago, letting me know he will be in town for a conference, and he would like to take me to dinner. I, the kind, polite, former student of his, say sure, because...well, I'm generally a nice person. And he was cool to me in school, although was clearly into me, but I acted oblivious, as I should have. Pretty sure he is married by the way, or maybe widowed? Who knows, but he has a wedding band on. Never talks about any woman though. Well, why would he? Anyways. I agree, we meet up tonight. I go to the hotel where he is staying (not to his room), and he sees me and hugs me, stands back and says WOW! And hugs me again, and grabs my hand and holds it. And I am immediately like uhhh wtf let go of my hand...in my head. Don't want to be rude. We walk a little ways towards a restaurant in that hotel, and eventually he lets go, and I am liberated. We have a nice dinner, catch up on business, changes in the school, things of the like. I am slow to drink my cocktail, as I had drank the previous night and didn't feel like it, but he was semi pressuring me to do so, and I was like fuck it, let the man buy you a drink. I was barely half way done with it, yet done with dinner, and he pressured me to order another one. Actually, he didn't pressure me, he just ordered it even though I said no, and he was being all light and nice, so I was like well fuck it. Yet he didn't get a second drink. Whatever. Ok I lied. I guess this won't be brief. We leave the restaurant, he wants to walk the strip a little bit, so we go ahead and walk it. He graciously holds my bag of leftover food the whole time. How sweet. I point out things that are new on the strip, I point to this and that and ooh and ahh. Standard duty of a tour guide. At some point, he holds my hand again. Umm, sir? That's my hand. I would like it back. So we walk holding hands, and I swear, my hand is like a dead fish in his, and he keeps trying to interlock fingers and squeeze and shit, and I'm like oh and so look at that building over there. He lets go eventually. And grabs it again. Maybe 6-8 rounds of uncomfortable grabbing of my hand. But I know the night is young and we have ventured away from his hotel, and we have to venture back still. So we do, and then go to the parking garage because I told him I would show him my office, like he asked. It's pretty close to the strip, so it wasn't weird. But it was like 9 pm already. Whatever. So I take us there, show him around, he acts proper and says he's proud of me and blah blah. Then we get back in the car and I drive back to his hotel, making small talk although I am tired and done. We get there, ready to drop him off at the front of the hotel, and he tells me that he has a secret to tell me, which he has been holding on to for the last several years, which is that he likes me. No shit, Sherlock. I've known since my second year of school, but I acted like I didn't know a thing, because I was focusing on graduating. I feigned surprise and I was like ohhh..awww..hahaa ok well have a good niiiight! And we hugged in the car and he left. I rolled my eyes immediately after. Not to be a bitch, but come on. That one is not going to happen. I know I have questionable involvement with men, but cut me some slack here. I started the evening afraid that he would make a move. I am relieved that he did not go in for a kiss. He wants to maybe hang out on Sunday before he leaves. I said yeah sure let me know your plans, but...no. I can't do any more of him holding my hand. Nope, nope nope nope. 1:35 a.m. - 2016-06-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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