silver4's Diaryland Diary

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Far, far

I can't believe that honesty is the best policy. Because I don't have success with honesty. I have success with deceit. Omission, rather. Avoidance. Not intentionally lying or anything, just selectively sharing information. I cannot be honest about my feelings. I mean...I can. But yeah. I don't know what to do anymore. Withhold information. Continue to hide. I would put in extra effort, but I fail to see the purpose at this point.

I have to start over. I have to empty my mind. Disregard those silly feelings of mine. I have done well in the past doing so.

Avoidance. Focus on work. Business. Make money. Make more money. Eff those pesky emotions. What good have they ever done for me? Too bad I can't just take a syringe and plunge it somewhere on my body and numb the core of any of my emotions.

Maybe I'll numb myself tomorrow, just for the hell of it. As a lark.

I'm in a mood. I am permitted to have my moments. This is one of them. I am happy that it is soon Thursday, which means it is soon a four-day weekend for me. I need away. I just need away.

8:58 p.m. - 2016-06-29

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