silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Meh Well, I slept with that AN guy. Such is life. I can't care about anything much anymore. It was fun, nothing I want to make a habit of because I know he gets around and I'm not interested in him. Just something to do. Passing the time until the right guy comes along, I guess. I am beginning to think that it is not CA these days. I want it to be him, because I care about him so damn much, but life isn't a movie, especially my life. Nothing plays out the way I want it to with the men. I do often think, why is it that almost everybody else, my closest girl friends if anything, were able to get it all figured out, so easily? Here I am, if anything with a great career and semi-successful practice, a house now, good boobs and a nice ass. Winning personality, obviously. Can I just get one damn man to properly adore me? I think it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy: I expect guys to only want me for sex, so that's the only guys I attract. And I keep telling myself to be done with it, to stop and change my ways. But there is no compelling spirit convincing me to do any better. So here I am, single and just observing the world. Single is fine, but I am over it. Also, why do people ask, when catching up, "are you still dating?" As opposed to what? Yea, if I'm not with anyone, of course I'm just dating. But no, the true answer is no, I am not dating. I am just fucking people. But nobody wants that to be the answer, especially my optometrist, bless her heart. Anyways. This wasn't supposed to be a negative rant at all. The sex was fine and expected. We met up for happy hour, then went back to his place for "just a drink", and then he proceeded to make his moves. And I just said fuck it, who cares. So those are my thoughts for the day. Back to cleaning the house. 10:24 a.m. - 2016-11-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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