silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jr Cousin moved in. There is now a small dog that follows my every move whenever I am home and she is away at work or wherever. Will now come sleep in my bedroom until she comes in around midnight to scoop him up and away. I don't mind the company. It's fun. Unfortunately, my house is currently a hot mess from the last minute cram of my items of other rooms into my bedroom. Oh well. I'll tend to it when I get a chance. I ran the Las Vegas Rock and roll 5K and half marathon again last weekend. Ran is a word used quite loosely. I ran the 5K the first day straight, but the next day I only mustered the first 7 miles straight before letting it get the best of me. I finished, that's all that matters. It was on Sunday, today is Friday. I should have the Normal feeling back into my feet by the end of the day. I think of how some women just know straight up that they do not want children. One of my sisters, this cousin, one of my close girl friends. And then there is me, without children, quietly wishing for a child, but commenting that it's not a big deal whether or not I have them, and joking that at this point I am "waiting for an accident". Yeahhh, I'm not really joking... I am 35 years old. I know it isn't "too old" to get pregnant, but I've let go of some prime years. So I just smile and say nah I don't care, I have my office, I have nieces and nephews, blah blah. Would be nice though. I would love to be a mom. And I know that my parents would love for me to have a child. Yes, they already have grandchildren, but you know. The more, the merrier? But it's okay, it's no big deal. I have my office. And accidents happen. Before you ask me if HE wants to have kids, I'll go ahead and say the answer is no. Not that we have discussed it, but I have the feeling. So why do I say accident bs? And why am I still in this? Because I'm an idiot. And it could be with someone else, who knows. Things change. It could be a long time of things going nowhere, then I meet someone new, and he could be everything I have ever wanted. I'll just leave it at that, and say good night. 12:50 a.m. - 2017-11-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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