silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- birthday woohoo! hooooome. finally. i was gone pretty much all day, since my dad is in town for my birthday, i hung around him. i left here around 11 or so to go get breakfast. we did that, then went back to his hotel around maybe 12:30, and from then until about 4, i was bored out of my fuckin mind as he watched football. football? i mean, yeah. i like it, don't get me wrong. but today's my fuckin birthday and i could be getting hammered or hanging out with people who want to do shit, or even just sleep. i have things to do, always. sunday is my grocery shopping day, anything. hell, laundry. i sat there initially thinking, okay, if he wants to watch football, then i can go back home until it's over and he's ready to do something. then he says oh hey let's go watch a movie. so i think okay, cool, we'll do something. HOURS LATER after the first game is over, he is ready. so we do that around 4. then he's like oh let's go get dinner, but there was leftover popcorn and so he wanted to drop that off at the hotel then go bounce to food. get to hotel, put down popcorn, then tv on to football yet a-fuckin-gain. and i look at the score and it's end of 4th quarter tied and i'm thinking nooooo noooo this means overtime. and i was correct. so we sit there another half hour or so. and then go eat. seriously. this was my day. fortunately though, yesterday was good. took boards, blah blah, then met up with dad, movie, dinner. then left him around 7 so i could get ready for my partyyyy. i got in a sexy little silver dress which was awesome, and we went to some club where the bouncers were in love with me (yay!) and a ton of people came out for the party (i felt special). one guy who is a friend of my friend JC told me that he wanted to say something inappropriate, and i told him go for it, and he told me that he's always wanted to fuck me. how... sweet? and then he proceeded to nibble on me a little. but i encourage people, so i let him think he had a chance. but he didn't. and another friend KC told me that he thinks i'm awesome pretty much, but that i am intimidating to guys and they are sometimes afraid to approach me, just as i suspected. i know he's interested in me, he's always sweet and stuff. then he asked me if i'm into asians. haha. he's asian, obviously i guess, by that comment. d2 came as promised, and when he first saw me in the hallway before we left, he was staring me up and down. good. i like that. he's hot. sigh. but nope, i did not end up in his bed last night, of course i ended up in R's, innocently as always. god, seriously? why do i do this? why do i sleep in bed with someone for fuckin companionship when i could possibly sleep in someone else's bed for sex? i'm stupid. but yeah, at the end of the night i came home with R and went back to his place and the guy who wanted to hook up with me was there and was calling out my name, and i told R that he wanted to fuck me, and R took me to his room and closed the door. he was upset with that guy anyways because he was eating his food. so i stay over, blah blah. at first i'm holding on his arm all night, but eventually move away. a little. sigh. why do i want him so? why do i always want to be with him? oh yeah. i'm an idiot. hm. whatever. we get up around maybe 9 and stay lazy for a bit, and then JW comes over to R's and brings me a gift and a card, and we all chat for a while. then i get back to my place around 10 and call dad and blah blah and then started the day with him. R told me a bit more of my adventures from last weekend when i was wandering around drunkenly, and explained how i ended up on his bathroom floor supposedly. i don't buy his story entirely, he exaggerates a bit. but he said i threw up on his hand. hahaha. that's what he gets. blah. so now i feel a little icky due to what i hope to be just allergies and nothing more. i took a pill, we'll see what happens. i'm so tired. i love being the life of the party, i love being center of attention. it is a role i play well. M came too last night, with his girl. she likes me but i know she's iffy about me and him, because he tells me all the time whatever it is that she says. he said that after they left, she told him that he's too flirty and that he makes girls think that they can have an affair with him, and she said that he and i have something going on and we love each other. but he quickly squashes those conversations when she says stuff like that. i do love him, he is my boy. an innocent love of course, not a lovey love. however, lately the way he's been talking to me has been throwing me off, because he has said maybe twice in this last week something about how he loves me, and then today when he told me about what his girl said about us loving each other... i don't know. i'm not reading into it or anything, but i want to make sure that that is as far as it really goes. i don't really like to hear that stuff even if it's just out of respect for the friendship... i'm just not like that. i can say all i want to on here how much i love R and broadcast it to my imaginary world, and to him when i'm drunk, but i'm not good at being affectionate in real life. but when he came up to me in the line at the club, i swear i gave him the biggest hug out of everybody, and my face just lit up ridiculously. but then i had to check myself as i remembered his girl was there, and i gave her a hug too and tried to share my attention between the two of them instead of just focusing on him like i otherwise prefer to do. i love him. you know what i mean. okay sleeping pills are starting to kick in. i'm crashing now. i hope some of this entry made sense. i started losing it towards the last couple paragraphs here. i'm drained and delirious. time to press done. 9:13 p.m. - 2010-01-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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