silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- End of June Alright, let's try this again. Bringing myself back into writing here. I am making a conscious effort to be better with my eating habits, because I tend to overeat. I eat well; generally healthy foods. I was just not hitting the stop button. Well, now I have trained my brain and my tummy to accept my no's, and I can stop (for the most part) when I tell myself to do so. So here I am, eating better, shedding some pounds somehow, thankfully. I know I have to incorporate better workouts now though, because I think I have hit my plateau in food-controlled weight loss. I've been able to keep off the fifteen-ish pounds that I have shed since my reality check weigh in at the end of last year. I do feel lighter, too, if one could truly "feel" their weight, and it brings me relief. I felt so disgusting before, but I experience less disgust with myself at this time. Mind you, I am not heavily overweight, nor so underweight that I am of the delusion that I am heavy while being slender in actuality. No, no, I am just your average 5'5" lady, weighing in around 160, with a big natural black bum, of which I (and others) cherish. Who knows what that thing weighs. I'm not concerned. As long as I feel fine, and I can do some stronger workouts to tighten this shit up. Anyways, enough about that. I'm going in for laser hair removal this morning. Bought a groupon a couple months ago, doing my underarms. It's supposed to be done over the course of several appointments, and thankfully this location is just down the street from my house. Might pull a Brazilian, too. TMI, but yeah. Sorry, guys. So I will see how this goes. Excited. Nothing new with CA. We are normal. Nothing bad, nothing amazing. I see him pretty much once or twice a week. Ugh, I had a dream about my ex DW a few nights ago, I believe prompted by the fact that I passed by the general area of his house (or former house, who knows now) on my way home last weekend. I know he was in foreclosure when we were dating, apparently not paying on his loan for several months, letting it go. Not my problem, I don't care. He even had the nerve to say that maybe he would move in with me, and this was when I was in my apartment and we had only been dating around three months. I would NEVER have let that happen. Only now am I warming up to the thought of CA moving in with me, and that isn't even a discussion between us. It's more in my head...future planning is all. Anyways, it was an annoying dream because...well, because he was in it, if anything. I don't remember the details, I just know that I was confused as to why we were even talking and why I was at his house. Whatever. He wasn't a terrible person, but he was an idiot at the end of our "relationship", and I ended up deleting his number and all contact info, and deleting his name from the number and blocking his number so that even if he called, I 1) wouldn't know it was him and 2) it wouldn't go through. I am not one of those girls you cross with any hopes of it coming back together. Piss me off hard enough and you are completely written off. Yes, I was hurt and and emotional at the time, but to me, if a relationship is done and you know you aren't going to be friends, why even keep any reference of them around? I have no reason to talk to you, so bye. Wash my hands, pour a glass of wine, and move on. Anyways, I coincidentally live around a mile away from his spot now. I could walk there. Doesn't matter though, just funny. Yeah so where's that coffee? Have a lovely weekend and a safe fourth. I doubt I will be writing anything else before then, but I will continue to lurk. 6:42 a.m. - 2017-06-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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