silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nonsense Uhhhh yeah so I read my last entry at 3 something am and not only does the end make no sense whatsoever, I don't even know how accurate it was of a representation of my thoughts. 1, I don't want his girl to just get pissed and call off the wedding, because then where would that leave me and M? We live in different states so in a year we really won't see eachother. 2, I don't even know if I would want to start up a relationship with him anyways because I personally feel like the next serious or long term relationship I get into, I will want it to be the last if possible. As in my 'forever' relationship, because I don't really want to keep having long relationships that I feel stuck in or whatever. And I don't want to keep starting over, my emotions will go crazy and I'm getting old enough for marriage or forever to be in sight. Poor D1, I think he really wants to be with me forever. I can't do that. It was good initially, but he lost my heart when he stopped appreciating me or acknowledging my presence. Anyways, I don't want to talk about him right now. In fact, I don't want to talk about anything. Bottom line, I don't want to get sprung on M but I think it is becoming inevitable so we are both screwed, because he feels the same way. Maybe we shouldn't have started this thing up, but, once again, I don't believe in regrets. 8:15 a.m. - 2009-06-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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