silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- thinking. i'm starting bad habits again. i have to get myself to stop. i am overthinking and overthinking, thinking about R and how i haven't really spoken to him in like 2 days, how i wish i have, how i want to, how he's not online for me to say hi to... how i wonder what he's doing and how it's lame that he is 2 doors down from me but i don't have the balls to wander down there. then i think about M and how i hate that whole situation, but that is only a transient thought. the bad habit part is that it's 12:30 and i haven't eaten anything, but i just made myself a drink, because i want to be of a different mindset right now. and i don't feel like cooking or anything anyways, so it doesn't really matter in the food department. but there are so many other things i could be doing right now. actually, i am being semi productive. i've been cleaning up and folding clothes, and i just placed two loads of laundry in the washers, so i'm not a complete waste right now. but i always, always yearn to talk to R. and for that, i am so lame. i should just give in to one of these donks who tries to hook up with me. why can't i just erase, why? if i don't stop myself, i might get buzzed soon. i would like to make an excuse and attribute some of my insanity to my period, but i really can't, because it's a lame excuse and i'm pretty much just using it as an excuse. i'm just crazy. i figure the sooner i really realize that, the better off i will be. 12:24 p.m. - 2010-01-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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