silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nothing really Since I've been back in vegas, I have eaten less than the mounds of food I consumed in sf, and I tack on a lot of homemade protein smoothies after workouts, with the good healthy stuff in it as opposed to who knows what is placed in the ones from the shoppes. I work out more and I try to get my body in check. I have less of those java chips from Starbucks which are probably 700 calories a piece, which I would have almost daily, and I don't have drinking frenzies with my friends at the clubs and bars every weekend in which downing 30+ drinks in a weekend, of beer shots mixed etc, was the norm, not to mention whatever I drank during the week, like random 40s or 12 packs grabbed on the way home from school because we were pimps like that. So whyyyy am I heavier now? I look in the mirror or I put something on and it doesn't work out, my body is just trying to gain more space in this world. Well I don't want that and I certainly can't afford new clothes. It's almost full pants time and I prob have one pair of jeans that fits me right. Why can't I get rid of this damn weight!? I wish I had the excuse of a baby growing inside me, but its not the case. (btw my best friend visiting from Washington for CH's wedding, she just found out she's pregnant. She was trying to get pregnant too, this will be her second. Way to make me feel even that much more inferior...) and I don't even want to get pregnant until I know I can get my body in check and know I can get myself back down to the size I want. Blah. Sorry for complaining about weight. If I could drop ten lbs of fat I'd be a happy girl. I don't want to fit into a size 0 or 2, I'd look too little again. Ten years ago I could rock that, but not anymore. Anyways. Another day. I want to go on a date. I want to get dolled up for someone. I'm bored. Okay fine bye.. 8:33 a.m. - 2010-10-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||