silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2012 Happy new year! I'm glad the stream of autumn/winter holidays are over with. I am ready for things to start over calmly with no craziness. Last night was good for the beginning stuff, then around the midnight part it was dull. I went with two of my sisters to a pre-party at a sister's friends house. It was good, we all should've just stayed there. But the host had other plans at some off-strip local casino. Sis had her new boyfriend and he brought some guys, one of which I was supposedly supposed to hit it off with and marry. Right. And sis not so subtly kept trying to push us to talk. I was fine to talk to the guy, but he basically just stood there looking at me and trying to sneak looks at me and not talk. I honestly think he was intimidated by me, which gets really old. So he was basically lurking and every now and then would wink at me and smile but still barely say shit. So I talked to a different guy there who actually knew how to speak words and who didn't seem afraid to have a damn conversation. He was cool and good to talk to. He was more my speed. Still not smitten, but at least nothing awkward. I really, really hate when guys don't talk. This was an intentional attempted hook up, and I know he thought I was cute blah blah (I was told so, I'm not conceited hah), so open your damn mouth and say something. And I tried to get convo rolling with him, but he just did the shy quiet stand in back and be a GQ man, and that doesn't work for me. Lesson learned here is to not let my little sister try to set me up with anyone. I see how different we are and how differently we act. We don't have the same interests, we certainly don't talk the same. I'm sorry, and again it isn't conceit, but I speak like I have common sense. And sadly my dads side of the family gives me shit every now and then, because I don't "talk black", but I'm not ghetto. I'm not uppity and full of myself, but I talk in complete sentences and I say words that everyone will understand. And my sis was throwing around terms and then "oh we say that" like what she and her friends say. Okay, we'll I'm not your little friend, so what the hell are you saying? I know how to talk around different people, don't get me wrong. But I'm not ghetto and I'm not hood. And I don't associate with people who are. Yet that's who I was thrown into a place with at the end of the night. So I was just done, after having driven sister to one place then the next (because she wanted to ride together), her boyfriend basically ignoring her ("oh that's just how we do"... right...), her being indecisive on where to go. I'm like wtf make up your damn mind. She wants to spend new years with her man but he's doing "how they do", then she wants to go back with her girl, and I'm the damn chauffeur, and I'm thinking you know what? I shouldve stayed home and watched the damn fireworks on the news like I do when I don't have anything else going on. It's actually quite satisfying. Instead, I was among a bunch of people I didn't care to be around, my sister in her alternate mode, in a casino ballroom with no view of anything interesting, which released a handful of black and white balloons from the ceiling and exclaimed happy new year. Yawn. Even the host friend had a bunch of girls in town from Miami and they were sitting around bored instead of up dancing and smiling. So it's not just me being bitter. It was the reality of the situation. And I had been drinking throughout the night, but all the indecision made me completely sober, along with the pushing to get me to talk the guy when it would've been more productive to talk to a wall. However, I am grateful for another year. I love my friends and family, and I look forward to whatever this year has in store for me. And I hope to make it to the next one as well. First thing I'm looking forward to is officially turning 30. I've been saying I'm 30 for months now, but now I can officially claim it. But that's in three weeks. In two weeks to the day, I will be closer to happiness and inner peace than I have in a while. And that, my dear, is the Tool concert. What more can a girl ask for as an early birthday present? Anyways, 2012. Thanks for coming along. Interesting method this time around, but you came. Who knows, maybe I'll actually talk again to the guy who I did enjoy talking to. Who knows...? 7:32 a.m. - 2012-01-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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