silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another day I don't think I mentioned this. For the last three weeks or so, I have been waiting for one last permit to be cleared so construction could start. And waiting, and waiting. Come to find out, whoever was in charge of that permit didn't realize it was his charge, so it has basically been chilling and neglected for no damn reason. But now he is aware, and SUPPOSEDLY it should be cleared by next week. Hm. I have been checking the permit website almost every day now that I have the info on it, waiting to see any status change. Maybe by midweek. Blah. Anderson Silva is an arrogant punk who deserved to get that knock out tonight. I wanted to punch him myself, all that taunting and dancing around and playing like an egotistical fool. Not that I really truly care, but don't mock other people like that. It will warrant a knock out. Well deserved, Chris Weidman. My interest in CW is diminishing due to lack of interaction. I still have a fragment of hope, a glimmer of faith that I can make something work there, but it isn't much. So I disregard and move along. Someone worthwhile is out there for me. It seems as though I am reaching, so very far, and I just cannot grasp it. I am trying, but I feel so undeserving. It is as if the only thing I can have is material, something I have to create, and only things that are like work-related, professional. There is just so much lacking on the personal, emotional side. In the meantime, my friends are gathering and relating about their one to two year olds, discussing organic milk and how some store had run out of it... And I am sitting there watching the UFC fights with the boys because I have absolutely nothing to contribute to the conversation with the girls. I shall continue to read CW's GOT book #2. I hope to finish it by next weekend; I'll take it with me on the plane to Texas. That should help me kill at least 200 pages perhaps. The bad thing about doing the office startup is the fact that EVERYONE wants to talk about it. Friends and family ask so many questions. Then I have blabber mouth friends who tell their friends or anybody new that I just meet, and then those people want to know things. And it is often the same questions and statements: "You must be so nervous! What, you aren't nervous? Well it's so exciting! What days will you open? Do you have all your staff picked out? What insurances will you take? Who are you working with? Who is your partner? YOU DON'T HAVE A PARTNER??How much does it cost? IT COSTS WHAT?!? You must be scared about paying all that. What, you aren't scared?" And yes, they are valid thoughts, questions, and comments, but I swear, I go to these social events and gatherings with hope to escape from the project. I just need to accept that this is my life for the next 3-4 months. And on top of that, it will be a new set of questions and comments after I open. This is why I didn't tell anyone in the very beginning. I fortunately spared myself a fair amount of this by keeping my peace the whole year before when I did my planning and research. Yes, I know, people are proud of me and all. It is a lot of hard work. It is a lot of fun work. I am happy so far. I don't plan on failing, so there is no choice but for everything to work out. And to work out beautifully. I miss affection. I miss being held, and kisses Enough said. I'm sleepy again, for like the twelfth time today. Good night dland 10:34 p.m. - 2013-07-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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