silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- whatever again i wrote some stuff and accidentally clicked on something else and lost it. just as well. everything else is lost. i am lost. i am confused, i am alone, i am uncertain about everything. i don't understand anything. and i keep telling myself that everything is fine. but i am wrong. i want too much. i am so confused. tried to kill it all away, but i remember everything. i have too much going on. too much right now. and i can't remedy anything. i want to fix everything. but i can't. i want to breathe. i'm afraid that i can't. i'm afraid that it's gone. everything. i don't want--i'm tired. i'm my mom called me. i answered, and as always, she says "oh, i was just going to leave you a message". well, i picked up. i can't keep doing this. she doesn't want to talk to me. i don't think she likes me. i swear she doesn't like me. she has something against me and she has for a while. she doesn't want to talk to me. i am truly the other daughter. broken, bruised, forgotten, sore... too fucked up to care anymore. poisoned to my rotten core.... too fucked up to care anymore. i want R to distract me. i want him to tell me that everything is okay and i'm not entirely crazy. in the back, off the side, and far away is a place, where i hide, where i stay. tried to say, tried to ask, i needed to, all alone, by myself. where were you? how could i ever think it's funny how everything you swore it wouldn't change is different now? just like you would always say, "we'll make it through", then my head, fell apart, and where were you? how could i ever think it's funny how everything you swore would never change is different now, like you said, you and me, make it through, didin't quite, fell apart, WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU? -- NIN 5:39 p.m. - 2009-06-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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