silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- random it's just never enough, is it? i feel like every day is a reminder of inadequacy.. in certain respects. i can see what they see. i'm not completely off point. this will deviate onto different tangents, fair warning. i'm tired of acting like i care more than i do, just so he is happy and so that i feel like i have someone to care about. i'm tired of acting like i don't care during the week and then only given the privilege to be close on the weekends, when i could really spend every waking moment loving him. as well as the moments when i am asleep. which brings me to question, why the hell can't i control who i dream about? and why don't i dream? i'm tired of acting like i am interested much at all anymore; after you showed your ass, i didn't really give a shit. you think i crave you? i do not. i can do without. why do i fear that i will not be by your side this weekend? i want to be. i always want to be. vanilla sky: every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around. i think too many minutes have passed. which was the one i wanted? i'm going to sleep now. that minute is predictable and i can change it. from awake to asleep. 12:36 a.m. - 2010-02-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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