silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- eff school i passed a case wednesday. i failed a case today. i hated school for a minute this morning and thought about how i hate dentistry afterall. i felt sad and took deep breaths to not cry. i was disappointed in myself because i made goals for the morning and i did not succeed with them. i saw M working a couple rows away from me and he nodded to me to ask how i did and i shook my head, indicating it was a no go. he came over when he was done cleaning up, and i told him that i needed my happy drink, which is a java chip frappucino from starbucks. so i cleaned up and put my shit away, and he set up for his afternoon patient (meeee!) and we went to the starbucks on the corner, walking in the pouring rain under his umbrella, as i tearlessly cried about the morning and how much it blows. he always makes me feel better. if i didn't have him, i would be running to take a shot of something or drink a quick beer or have a cigarette in between clinic sessions. and i told him that i appreciate him and that he pretty much makes it happen for me. so i took an excedrin for my headache and we sat in starbucks and shared my drink and an apple fritter, and i completely disregarded the morning. then we walked back to school in the rain again and i sat in the chair and slept while he did a filling on me. R was in the operatory right across from us. haha. so afterwards we cleaned up together and then he walked home with me, i heated up some taco stuff that i made last night, and we both had a beer (although i probably shouldn't because of this cold...but i think it's almost gone?) and relaxed and decompressed. but sadly he only kicks it for like an hour or so, because he has to go home and be faithful and shit. so yeah, that's the gist of it. i hated the morning. i still feel sick. i feel incompetent at life. i love teeth but i hate teeth. whatever. life is a bitch. i should call my lil sis now... she wants to visit supposedly in april, but there's really no good time to come, so she should just come whenever. i don't care. there's always some bs i have to do. and i'm fairly certain i'm going out tonight. maybe i should take some meds first. okay, no drinking... or like 4 drinks max... yeah.. that's not much. i can be responsible. sounds about right. JB will be there, and we are a little more flirty lately. i love the menssss. he's a little too perky though. i mean, i'm cheery and shit, but not 24/7. maybe like 10/7. the other 14/7 i'm a straight bitch. toodles! 6:29 p.m. - 2010-02-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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