silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- hope today started off with me depressed, like every other day since like august. then i went down to the temp place because i had an appt with the lady at noon, and i talked to her and signed up, and then she was like "oh i may have something for you this week" and boom, i got booked for tues-thurs at some office that apparently the dr hurt his neck and needs someone to step in. they were offering $750 each day, but since i'm inexperienced, they dropped it to 550. ummm, yeah... i'm perfectly fine with 550. ANYTHING is better than the nonexistent money i've been making otherwise. then i can pay off my stupid credit card bill and my disability insurance and fund my az trip, maybe pay my car note, and put the rest aside for loan payment, which would leave me with... absolutely nothing. and that money for loan pay wouldn't even be complete. it'd be maybe 1/4 the total fee, so i'm really hoping for more days of any kind of temp work they could possibly throw at me. meaning either basic or hygiene, i'm completely indifferent to which one i do, as long as it gets the bills paid. it's only the beginning of the month, sort of. it's okay... it will come together, i hope. super excited for tomorrow though! if the temp chick can get me something for friday, too, i'd be ecstatic. and i also said weekends. so lay it on me, give me anything you have, i want to do it, i have to do it, i need to work. anyways. i went to lunch with CH today, met up for sushi as we always do, and i was bummed when i first got there, and then the chick called me about the job, and i got happy and she was happy for me. she asked me about M and still wants him to get divorced hahah. and i told her about az and maybe trying to see R if he'll be welcoming. he's online right now, but i don't feel the urge to say anything to him right now. so i have a $50 gift card for spafinder that my lil sib from school gave me, and i just found a place that does a facial for $50 for an hour that seems pretty decent. i think i'll set that bad boy up for saturday. i've never had a facial before. anyways, that's about it i guess. i'm not nervous for tomorrow, i feel like maybe i should be, at least a little. i just have to be confident and do the work. i would like some wine. instead i will grab a beer. my dad keeps asking me what i do every day, meaning that whenever he gets back to the house and i'm not here, he needs to know where i am. wtf? i mean, general concern is okay, but he doesn't care to hear my vague response of "oh, nothing, just whatever..." when he asks what i did today. he needs to learn to deal with it. privacy is difficult enough in this house as it is. and my oldest niece is apparently in jail, she's 20. i'm getting tired of hearing about my family members who are in jail, it's so annoying. why the hell do these people keep doing stupid shit? i also have a cousin who is sooo beautiful and fun and adorable, my oldest cousin on my mom's side, and she fell into the wrong group and got into drugs and messed with the wrong guys, had several abortions before having her daughter who is about 3, and she's in jail too for so reason. she's maybe 27, and i feel bad for her younger sisters, who really need her presence in their lives as a big sister, but she has isolated herself away from the family, so the 21 year old is the big sis now. i want to be more in their lives, but i have limited resources for them; i want to give them a place to get away from their mom's house and to just chill, so once i get my own place, it will basically be open to them, guest room and anything they want. i have so many plans, just lacking the resources. siiiigh. i will make it happen. lots of patience. that's all i need. but back to my niece, i'm pissed and sad because she had potential, and now she has a string of issues on her belt that she's not gonna be able to drop because she's been on a string of dumbass behavior for maybe 2+ years now. so annoying. especially when it's the younger girls, i just want more for them. oh well. i can't directly do anything to help them. i've tried talking before and encouraging and being a semi decent role model or something. but i want a beer now. i think i'll fb the cousins now and see what they're up to this weekend. we need some bonding time. blah blah blah beer then maybe freak out a little because of tomorrow, then blah blah and sleep. pimp. 8:56 p.m. - 2010-11-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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