silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vacation ending Last day in sf, or last few hours rather. I can hear the lovely sound of rain pouring. I considered bringing an umbrella here, but of course didn't, and voila! I love it, but once I'm out there walking around with my thin duffel bag of luggage, it won't last and it'll be soaked through. Awesome. So the weekend has been good. The first day in for the seminars, I saw the older dr who always hinted and flirted and suggested inappropriate things to me, the one who calls me occasionally to "check in" on me. Well, I hadnt told him that I was coming to sf, so when he saw me, he basically stopped in his tracks and had to collect himself, and he was like pretty happy to see me. He gave me a hug (there were tons of hugs over the weekend) and called me baby and he creepily held onto my hand for an unnecessarily long period of time. (may I pause and sigh to the sound of a trolley car passing by ringing bells...ahhh... You don't get that in Vegas..) so whatever, he was being his usual self, and found it appropriate to hunt me down as much as possible. So here's where he gets bold: the venue was at a hotel, and a lot of people stayed in the hotel rooms there for the weekend. He had a room, and when he was talking to me, another dr instructor of mine came around and borrowed the key to go change his clothes. So I asked, oh are you guys roomies? And he said no, he had the room to himself blah blah. And he kept saying that he couldn't wait to get out of his suit and change into something more comfy for the night. And I agreed and said yeah, stuffy suit, blah blah, you should change. Then he told me that I should come up to his room and help him change out of his clothes. And I laughed awkwardly and said yeah, okay, in my typical sarcastic tone. But he was like "no, really, when I get my room key back, you should come up." And I'm just like "haha.. Haha... Oh, you... So silly..." and hes says "room 1706, come up" and he walks away. And I'm like ummmmmmmmm... did this just happen? Did I just get propositioned more directly by this guy? Because he usually says his weird things, and it's basically allusion.. Well no, sometimes it's equally direct. I just don't get how he has the balls to approach me like that, knowing that 1) I'm literally half his age, 2) I know and love his wife, and 3) ...come on..does he really think he could get me?? I'm not like ridiculously hot, but I'm not unattractive... And I suppose he's attractive for a much older guy, but he was my instructor for three years. He just let it all build up inside him until our banquet for graduation when he told me how hard it was to be around me and difficult it was to behave around me. And that since I graduated Im basically fair game. Hm. I really could've rocked some sexual harassment or something on him towards the end of school because it really does get uncomfortable sometimes.. But yet I do play into it. Whatev, for me it's all fun. Enough about him. I saw tons of other people, hung out with M who wanted to talk throughout the lecture just like in school, my roomie, who wanted to talk throughout the lecture just like in school... Saw my lil sib and my mentor teacher who I would've wanted to talk more to but time didn't permit it much because it was the half day, and honestly I was a bit hungover from partying it up the night before with G and a bunch of others. I love my friends. I miss them. Fuckin JC who was R's roommate back in school was there, he's now roomies with G, and when we were out at the club all drunk and livin it up, he was like "we should call R". I said "you can call him, go for it" because I don't want to talk about him, especially when I'm drunk. He said "you guys had a thing, huh?" and WTF he knew damn well there was a THING between me and R, a blind person could tell we had a damn THING, regardless of how one sided it was, it still existed. They were roommates. He knows I stayed over all weekend every weekend. Anyways, he just tried to provoke me and said that R told him that we hooked up, which was a lie because we never did. And I was like WTF you're lying, he didn't say that. And he kept saying yes yes blah blah and I was like stfu. Then he said that he and our friend S decided that R and I hooked up, and I was like alright, enjoy your made up world. He always asks me about my relationship with R when he is drunk and R is not in the vicinity. I think it's just his drunken curiosity, but it gets rather redundant and annoying. I think I'm over R, but if you keep bringing him up to me, and if I read past entries, I fall down into that bs emotional spiral of what ifs and boo fuckin hoo I miss him I'll never love anyone like i loved him blah blah blah. Over it. Well I have to figure out what I'm going to do today. I want to go to lunch at this restaurant I liked, I just dont know if I'll be meeting up with this girl JW who wanted to see me again before I left. If not her, then I have other options but I want to give her dibs. Roomie is passed out, doesn't look like she will be waking soon. We both enjoyed yesterday/last night because we didn't have to really do a damn thing and we could relax for once without thinking or answering to anybody or anything. I'm happy I'm moving into my place on Friday, so I can get the saturday to myself. It's just annoying that dad always looks at me like if I'm not watching tv that something must be wrong with me. Nothing is wrong, I just crave peace and my own space. Anyways. I should shower, although the rain will mess me up. Good times. I love San Francisco. I suppose I love Vegas too, but sf has just treated me well. Oh and I think M was a little shaken that I didn't kiss him or try to hook up. He needs to know that I dont care anymore about that with him. I just want to be friends. That's all we should ever be. Ok that's all. Guess I'll get up now! 7:58 a.m. - 2011-03-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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