silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Weekend? Almost?? Damn Thursdays. It isnt enough that I have such a long day with work plus all the damn driving to and from work, but then I still had to cook and somehow decompress. I passed out early after I was done cooking and before I could finish my second glass of wine... Then woke up at 1. Granted, I have not had coffee all week, possibly since Sunday. So...why the energy and restlessness? Okay fine, I have had some caffeine still. I've been pouring little packages of crystal light into my water all week, it helps, not sure what the caffeine content is but I'm sure hoping it's better than what I consume with coffee or what would be in straight energy drinks. So I'm up. I turn off the tv that I had fallen asleep to, with hopes that I'll just pass back out. Ah. Of course not. Instead, since sleep doesnt seem imminent, I decide it is a fabulous time to cook some more for this potluck the girls at work want to do. And I see the kitchen and think well this is also a marvelous time to clean the kitchen! Do the dishes, put things back in the pantry that i took out over the week, clean countertops, bleach disinfect the sink, sweep and mop. Why the heck not? And after washing the big dishes, I could actually run the dishwasher too because the turtle didn't claim the front of the dishwasher as her sleeping spot for the night. feeling great, although I know that after I sleep for these remaining 2-3 hours or so, I will be miserable and wishing for this energy that I have right now. Oh well. More crystal light? So the match date was a bust. Can't say that I'm upset or disappointed really. Maybe I should be more upset, but it kinda worked in my favor. The guy had confirmed with me on Monday for wed night and I said cool. Then on wednesday during my lunch I text to confirm again, no reply. Whatever, I'm at work, no worries. I still have no reply after work and we were supposed to meet at 6:30. I again text around maybe 5:45-6 like hey what's up haven't heard from you blah blah just wondering if not it's cool, I just didn't want to drive down to the place for no reason. No reply. Meh, fine. So I don't go. Whatever, he couldve changed his mind or maybe lost his phone (benefit of the doubt there), but to be courteous it's actually fuckin polite to say even hey yea never mind. So blah, nothing to cry about. It's actually okay because his pics were kinda iffy with one good looking pic and another kinda crazy looking, so maybe I dodged a bullet there...I shall never know. But at least I've been trying. I am trying this approach to dating, and I'm not finding who or what I'm looking for, and I dont know who in the world may be looking for me, but we are not crossing paths for some reason. Honestly though, when I was sitting around here not on my date, I started thinking okay WTF.. What am I doing, and what am I doing wrong? Because I am a good fuckin catch in my opinion, and in other peoples' opinions too. I just have shitty timing with men, and maybe I swear too much, but with new people I am presentable. It's only when I get all frustrated. But I will be patient. Oh so damn patient. One day some damn stars will align and it will all make sense and I can have a happily ever after of my own. In the meantime, I have less than a month left of my match subscription. Since I paid for it, I will still look, but I dont have any faith in it right now anymore. I...ugh. I just don't. Not that I'm hopeless, I just don't like the match selection and I'd rather meet someone in the real world and have a face to face convo with them from the start. I give up on online dating...for the fourth time. So...sleep or vacuum? Bah. I'll try to sleep. 2:35 a.m. - 2011-08-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||