silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Doors and windows Well, time to make a new life decision. Last night maybe an hour before the end of the day at work, I was told that they were giving me 30 days notice. Apparently the doctor that was there before me who works still occasionally wants to work more and the patient flow between three doctors isn't enough, so I am the one assed out. Blah blah we like you blah blah can we keep your number to maybe fill in a day here and there blah blah tough decision etc. And that was my job that actually paid decently. And this is two weeks after I told my other job that I was dropping Fridays. Convenient? Karma? Am I at fault? So mid march I will be back down to part time, 3 days a week, with a significant drop in income, unless this office pulls it together. So as of today, I have 1) one month left on that job, 2) 1.5 month left on my apartment lease, 3) approx 2.5 month left on my main office 1 year contract. Everything ending? Do I renew contract? How do I survive financially? As I drove home last night meandering through the mountains, I irresponsibly conversed with R via im, whom I rarely talk to anymore, and after he bitched about a long work day, I topped his off with my long work day plus getting "terminated". He accepted that my day was worse. Then he told me to move to Texas. He claimed that he could get me a job at his place, no interview. He said the money is freakin awesome. He told me that it's basically easy and it's worth it. And I did consider Texas before, but then I got caught up in these jobs and contracts, and I'm still so lost and unattached. So... I decided that I will buy a ticket to Texas to check out the place in a few weeks. I will apply for my Texas license this weekend. And I will make my decision soon. But I feel like the decision was made for me. I have to do what I have to in order to survive. And I had just told R that I needed a March vacation spot, and voila, Texas. I have to get ready for work. Bleh. My sister came over last night to chat it out with me over wine and chocolate ice cream and pasta. I love my sisters. I love that we live five minutes away from one another. But I might just have to move. My life feels so unsettled, uncertain. The only thing that holds me in Vegas is my family. Maybe this is why I don't have a relationship or close friendships. Maybe I'm meant to be transferred around. I also aimed to avoid being around R at all costs, that's why I mainly didn't want to move to Texas. But if that is where the money is, and I need the money... I know that I can make it just fine without being emotionally attached to him. I am stronger now (I think..I hope). I don't love him anymore. I just want to go to work, make money, go home, go to the gym, and be happy. The end. Meet a guy. Then the end. Anyways. One of my assistants at that office, after I told her the news, she said that God closes doors and opens windows. She is always saying religious stuff. But yes. Multiple doors are closing. I am a believer in coincidence and things happening for a reason. And I know that I am responsible for my future. So here goes to accepting multiple closures and opening myself up for a massive window. Here goes. 6:32 a.m. - 2012-02-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||