silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the immortal words... So I'm no longer working Fridays. Back to a four day work week. Yay? Not sure actually. Of course the more I work, the more I should make, right? And then I wander around spending stupid amounts of money on lectures, with hopes of expanding my range and wealth of knowledge. Today I dropped $2200 on registration for a weekend seminar in November. At least it is local this time and I don't have to travel. I keep trying to do things and take courses that will help make me the person that I want to be. And now that I'm not working Fridays, I want to use that time to get back on track. Especially because DW works on Friday. Since he has been around, weekend time has kinda gone to him, and I have lost a lot of my momentum and focus. It pisses me off in a bit, I could be further along in my goals. But then again, I need to be happy with the accomplishments I have made so far I guess. He tells me that I don't give myself enough credit, which is true. I beat myself up a lot, but I really need to stop. I am responsible for my own experiences, and I am the one who needs to create and take advantage of the opportunities that I want. So much that I want to do. So much that I want to be. Big dreams. It's not about money. It's about success and happiness, and satisfaction with all the shit I've done for the last several years. All that damn school. Why shouldn't I have some happiness out of it? I sure can't be happy about the debt I have incurred. DW works a lot and gets good money, but he puts a ton of time into it. Of course I'd rather work less and get more. He always seems so proud and kinda cocky about his income. In a way it bugs me. I try to ground him and tell him that there is more to life than money. I know we all want it in general, gotta pay the bills, but I never set my intentions on being a millionaire...and I am nowhere near it. I just for some weird ass reason enjoyed dentistry. And I just want to be happy and secure. Simple as that. And ideally maybe have kids somewhere down the line, and be able to comfortably provide for them. Easy as that. Anyways. Tomorrow I need to get on it. The time to hesitate is through. On a tangent, I saw the production of Wicked in sf, and it's here in Vegas until October 7th. I mentioned to DW that I wanted to see it, and he laughed at me pretty much. I would like to see it again though, especially because it is only in the city for so long. Maybe I'll try to get a ticket for tomorrow night. I need some me time. Ok. Good night for now. 8:10 p.m. - 2012-09-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||