silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Birthdays and dinners Yesterday was my grandma's birthday, she turned 70. We went over and had lunch, cake, all that jazz...which is funny because she is a jazz singer.. Hehe I made a funny.. I might swing back by there again today and swoop some leftovers. I left the house after about 3 hours or so, as I had some meat in the slow cooker and wanted to check on it. I was making dinner for DW, which we had planned on for almost a week. He had gone with his friends earlier in the day for a 6-mile run, and then went to some bar, and eventually back home to crash. I was at my grandma's house, so it was fine for him to do his thing, but I knew to expect him around 7 or so. So I leave and check the meat; it was going well. I season some shrimp and put them on skewers to grill. I prepare a pimped out macaroni and cheese dish and throw it in the oven to bake. I throw together a salad, and put the shrimp on the grill when everything else is basically done. And of course, I'm drinking wine as I cook. He comes over closer to 8..actually after 8, and he's dragging. Not feeling well. Head and stomach hurt, tired, exhausted, blah blah blah. I'm like ummm wtf why did you come over? Should've just stayed home and rested...and maybe LET ME KNOW that you weren't feeling well before I spent the last hour and a half cooking for you?!? He knew damn well how he felt. He could've told me while I was still at my grandma's house, we were texting while I was there. Although I do certainly love myself, I don't make big ass steak and homemade macaroni dinners for myself every night. So I get him water because he's not hungry. After a while I'm like fuck it, you aren't bringing me down, I'm opening some more wine for myself. And I make myself a small plate. Maybe an hour after being here, he asks for me to make him a small plate of just salad and a shrimp skewer. Lame. Very, very lame. I don't think he appreciated the effort I put into it. I could've stayed and hung out with my family more instead of babying some grown ass man. Anyways. I'm not actually upset, the night could've just gone in a different direction instead of me having made a big meal all for myself, and next to some whiny guy who should've just stayed home and slept. Then he left early this morning to go do his Sunday lunch w his family, and he has some surprise birthday party for one of his friends tonight, that the friend's gf told him about. Sooo his friends are gonna be there, their girlfriends are going to be there...and the invite doesn't extend to me at all? That's nice. We've only been dating for three months. His friends all know about me. I'm a freakin awesome catch, more or less, not in an arrogant way. Idiot keeps talking about wanting to live together, but you don't want to introduce me to anyone you know? Oh, boo hoo if some damn girl from your past did this and that and blah blah so you don't want to do the same "mistakes" blah blah...guess what? I'm a completely different person. I have no shame bringing him around any of my people. And I have invited him, but he always says no. Whatever. I'm not upset :) He just better not be stupid when he actually does invite me somewhere and I say no. Because, yes, I am spiteful like that. I've made it clear that I would like to hang out with his friends too, but not in an intrusive way. If it's just the boys, i don't care to be that clingy girl who always wants to intrude. I clearly have my own friends, in abundance, but when you tell your friends and family all about me, show them pictures of me, sing praises of how awesome I am, put them on the phone to talk to me when you are all out together...but then hide me? You'll spend all weekend with me, go out of town and plan trips together, and already start considering a future with me...but not want me to be known to anyone? Granted, yes, we did meet up with his aunt and uncle in San Diego, but that was because he was seeing them and I was basically dragged along because I drove. Not that I didnt enjoy it. I had fun and they loved me. Blah. I'm sure I have a point in there somewhere. I know that not every relationship is forever. We might break up next week, who cares? But in the time we do get to hang out, we should have fun together. If it ends, it ends. No big deal. The friends can ask "what happened to that girl?" and he could say "it ended". Easy. Anyways. Yay Sunday. He is off all this week, I assume I will possibly see him a few times during the week. But I still work. If he wants to see me, he can come to me. I'm gonna pull the lazy card that he always throws to me. I always drive to him, he could drive to me now. I kind of sound mean now, huh? That's not my intention. But I am starting to see less of a balance between us. I've always been a giver, and I try to let the people who are important to me know that they are. But he needs to show me that I am important to him, too, or I will be backing off a bit. I don't care how capable I am of taking care of myself and providing a life for myself. I don't care if i am confident and I have my shit together and I do my own thing and pursue and ideally get what I want. When it comes down to it, I am still a girl, dammit. Treat me like a princess and buy me something. :) 11:07 a.m. - 2012-09-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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