silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Eyes and unicorns I feel lame and pathetic to think this, but every now and then I think about an ex or two, and I wonder if they ever place a fragment of thought in my direction. It sucks to think about past loves or whatever the hell they were. I have actually tried my best to clear them from my mind, but of course stupid things would bring them back. A movie. A song. A car. A location. And of course certain articles, belongings. A memory of a concert we went to. Pictures. All that shit. I am not the type to throw things away like pictures or gifts just out of anger and spite. I feel, if anything, the dissolution of certain "relationships" of mine have all been justified, so there were never any real ill feelings from the disappearances. I don't know. I was thinking about T for some reason today, and I think about him every now and then. I can barely envision what he looks like, it has been 11 years now. I don't know why he stays with me. Actually, I suppose it is because I did love him. Other guys who I dealt with around the same time, I rarely think about. I don't even know who many of them are, my first couple years of college were stupid in the men department. I wouldn't know them if they stood in front of me. I think about T though, about how he made me feel emotionally, the things he gave me which I still have, the things he told me. I don't know if I will ever get over him completely, that whole issue of closure. Never got it, it's just floating out there in 2001-2002 somewhere, never to be seen. Then I just wonder if I was ever so lingeringly important to anyone. Pretty sure I just made up the word "lingeringly". Who knows. You know what I mean though. Meh...maybe it is in the dictionary. Good night dland. 12:20 a.m. - 2012-10-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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