silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Eve Sooo I went to church with my friend CM, for Christmas service. Definitely the first time I have been to church in over five years. Maybe much longer. I know I went for AV's wedding like 8 years ago...there must've been another occasion since then. It was interesting, was not bad. I have been wanting to go, for various reasons, and I told myself not to back out. I had nothing else to do, no excuse against going. It was a nice place. I would probably go again. I just felt so deceitful, because I know I want to be better, but I am not prepared to stop being who I am. Namely, I know if I say I will stop interacting with, oh..MG, that it is complete bs because I still have feelings for him that I need to straighten out. So I can't really justifiably voluntarily get in that position. Can't lie in church, you know? I'm not really religious, but I know what I can and cannot do haha... So yea. Still me. But hoping for improvement somewhere down the line. It's okay. It is in the bag. Merry Christmas, dland friends! Hope you have a darling time with your loved ones. 7:52 p.m. - 2014-12-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||