silver4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Doors and windows A positive, work has been going well. The office is creeping forward in production. I had maybe fifteen minutes of down time today, otherwise I was moving moving moving. Emergencies, walk ins, calls, MG came by for something, twenty minutes later my payroll guy comes in for something. Steady with the patients and the team. It is a good flow. I won't assume it will stay this way, but I am happy with the month of march so far. One week left to hustle and make things happen. Payroll guy is cute, I would hook up with him. JM told me that I am better than this, than this nonsense and bs with CA, JA, H, MG. He is only aware of CA by name. But he says that I need to treat myself better, and that none of them are good for me (which I already knew, but I just don't CARE enough). Even though CA is his good friend, he says I give him too much control of the relationship. Which, yes, I know. But again, I don't CARE. I'm still mad and sad. But it is pointless. I'm so pissed. It's crazy to think that you will never see somebody again. Not even by chance. There are people from my past, I know they are out there in the city, maybe I will see them again. But this one, I can't even pretend that I will see him again. He won't be at the next Halloween party or school's out party. He won't meet up at the bar or a concert. His smiling face won't just randomly show up anymore. I'm not going to depress myself right now. It makes me sick. I know that I have people, but I feel alone. I just want somebody to care, so that I can care, you know? Not like friends and family. Somebody else, who just ...gives a shit. Cares. Ok I will sleep. I don't want to think anymore 11:14 p.m. - 2015-03-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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